Many single women who are looking for an authentic, loving relationship make the mistake of not identifying the qualities they really desire in their future partner before they enter the dating scene. What often happens is that these women end up settling for whatever man comes their way and developing a relationship out of convenience rather than what they truly want in a life partner.
Have you thought about what qualities in a man are most important, for you?
If not, it's time to describe in detail what characteristics your ideal man should have. Yes, it can be frightening to be completely honest with yourself about who you do want to date - especially if you are afraid you might not get that - but it's a fact of life, whether in business or your personal life, that if you don't know what you want, you won't know where to find it.
Some women have created their "dream man" list, but what often holds them back is self-confidence. They secretly doubt that they "are good enough" to date the man of their dreams. This fear holds them back by lowering their expectations - why even try if you don't believe you will find what you want?
So when they create their list, they aren't honest about what they desire. Instead, they set the bar low and accept any man that comes their way who meets a few basic requirements.
The truth is - if you want to find the right man for you without dating a bunch of losers along the way, you must have standards.
You don't want to focus all your mental attention on worrying whether he felt the same way or if he will call and you want the confidence to say "Next!" when he exhibits traits that are incompatible with or unacceptable to you.
To create your dream man list:
1) List of all the characteristics that you need from a man. When you first start your list, don't limit yourself - no matter how shallow or judgmental you think they are. Just write down whatever comes to mind. For instance, you might write that he is over six feet tall, smart, has a good job, owns his own house, has never been married, doesn't have kids but wants them in the next five years, has no contact with any of his exes, wants a committed relationship, is fit, has similar religious beliefs, is ethical, has a witty sense of humor and so forth.
2) Evaluate your list. Now, go back and look at what you wrote. Not all of these are necessary to have a committed, loving relationship. Many might be "nice to have" but you could still love the man if he didn't have that particular characteristic. For instance, it might be nice if he owns his own home or was over six feet tall, but you could still love him if he had a nice apartment or was 5'11". By doing this step, you can break out the "essential" characteristics from the "non-essential" characteristics.
3) Write down your deal breakers. Finally, make a list of traits a man might have that are unacceptable to you. For instance, he's of a different faith, has anger management problems, is financially irresponsible, smokes, has a drug or alcohol problem, lives in another city, hasn't had a job in the last six months, is controlling, is still involved with his ex's life, plays the victim rather than taking responsibility for his actions, and so forth. These are your red flags that will help give you perspective before you get too involved with a guy who isn't right for you.
Keep in mind, your ideal man list isn't there to prevent you from dating men you are genuinely attracted to. Rather, it is to help you define those qualities you know you need in order to feel happy and loved in a relationship. Your list will help you stay focused on what you want while helping you remain objective when you meet someone who might not be right for you. It's also not set in stone. As you meet and date more men, feel free to add or subtract characteristics from each of your "essential," "non-essential but nice to have," and "deal breaker" lists.
Learn how you can overcome your self-doubt, shyness, and fear when interacting with men you are attracted to by being the amazing, self-confident woman you are. Visit http://www.attractaguy.com for more tips on how to be your "best" self, attract quality men and keep them interested.
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