Your decisions will either guide you towards or away from love! Make sure that you develop a reliable system for processing information and handling your emotions so that you stay on the right path towards the love you want.
To help you develop a better method of making smarter decisions in your love life, here are some keys points to remember:
o DEVELOP STRENGTH IN YOUR DECISION-MAKING MUSCLE.
Practice making decisions when the stakes are small. That way, you'll be ready to act when more significant decisions inevitably come your way. The quality of being a more decisive person develops naturally from repetition, and motivation will come from the goal of improving your love life. You'll become a great decision-maker through practice and a sense of a greater purpose.
o UNDERSTAND THE PROPER ROLE OF LUCK.
A lasting love relationship is achieved by design --- not by accident. That is not to say that luck isn't a factor, because it certainly can be --- such as when it comes to meeting the right guy at the right time. But the foolish strategy is to rely solely on luck, instead of on skillful decision-making, which is the more dominant factor in achieving successful long-term results in love. A smart decision-maker allows for luck, but is never fooled by it.
o GAIN THE VALUE OF INSIGHTFUL NEW PERSPECTIVES.
With our human vision, having two eyes enables us to see with more depth. Likewise, when it comes to your love life, two perspectives will be better than one --- and more can be even better! The mistake that most people make is to base their decisions exclusively on one point of view, which is usually their own or that of like-minded friends. Rarely do people consciously seek out opposing points of view about their love lives. I suggest that you consider the opinions of experts in the field, and perhaps the viewpoint of a well-informed and trusted member of the opposite sex. A wise decision-maker views an important issue at hand from at least three different sides.
o SEEK HONEST AND ACCURATE FEEDBACK.
In the area of dating, people can be especially sensitive about hearing honest feedback about themselves. Your close friends are not necessarily the best source of feedback about what you need to change in your actions and appearance. Often they will be afraid of hurting your feelings and damaging your friendship. But it is important to seek out honest feedback, so you can address the problem and not continue in the wrong direction.
o ALWAYS STAY FLEXIBLE IN YOUR APPROACH.
One of the hardest things for many of us to do is adjust to changing conditions. In other words, there comes a time when forcing things to happen is counterproductive, and learning to go with the flow will serve us better. Therefore, it is important to change our approach when things in our love lives aren't working, and realize that constantly repeating a bad strategy will continue to result in failure. A smart woman's approach is to take action, get feedback, and refine her dating strategies at various stages until she gets it right.
o DON'T MAKE SIGNIFICANT DECISIONS WHEN YOU ARE UPSET.
Poor decisions about one's love life are often the result of making them while you're in an unresourceful, emotionally unstable state of mind. The plain truth is that we make gross errors in judgment, and make rash decisions when we're upset. The smart thing to do is to postpone a significant decision until you are in a more balanced frame-of-mind. An outstanding decision-maker knows that quality choices can best be made when a person's mind, body, and spirit are in perfect balance.
o ALWAYS REMEMBER TO DO THE RIGHT THING.
Some decisions are difficult to make and involve major consequences in our lives. The lazy habit that many people have is to choose what is either the quickest, easiest, or least painful. But this decision-making process only creates a short-term quick fix. In order to make wise decisions over the long-term, you should carefully factor in these four important questions: (1) What is best for you? (2) What is best for the other person? (3) What serves the greater good? and (4) What is the most morally sound choice? When you have a balanced mental evaluation system like this, you will be guided towards doing the right thing.
Smart women don't leave their love lives entirely to chance. Instead, they shape their destiny by making wise decisions that serve their best interests. You can do the same by taking charge of your own love life and making the kinds of quality choices that naturally lead you away from relationship failure and frustration, and towards the high-quality love relationships that you truly desire and deserve.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Dating sucks when you feel like you don't have any control over the quality of your love life and it seems like things just happen to you. But dating rocks when you make a conscious decision to take charge of your destiny. You can take charge now by learning how to make intelligent choices that will lead you towards true lasting love.
Steve Nakamoto - "The Voice Of The Other Half"
iVillage.com's Ask Mr. Answer Man Relationship Expert
2-Time Writer's Digest Award-Winning Author
Author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs To Know About Catching A Man
Talk Like A Winner! 21 Simple Rules For Everyday Communication Success
Dating Rocks! The 21 Smartest Moves Women Make For Love
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