Is the dating scene overwhelming you? Would you like to meet someone, but find that you become discouraged by all the mixed messages out there? And what is it, exactly, that makes someone successful at dating?
Here are ten areas of your life that can change what you do and how you do it when it comes to dating. This checklist can serve as a reminder of what is important to you, as well as get you prepared for the best dating life you have ever had.
Top Ten Dating Tips for Singles
1. Know that dating is an adventure.
Somewhere along the way we got so serious about the whole business of dating. One bad date does not define who you are. If you hold the idea of dating as one big adventure, you will lessen the pressure and relax a little more.
2. Build a box of evidence.
If you are nervous about meeting people, you need reminders that you are wonderful. Save every note, postcard, medal, and treasured word you have received from someone and put it in a box. Take them out and read them before you are going out on a date. You need to be reminded that other people are happy to spend time with you, and that you have much to offer.
3. You can find love.
Believe and know that there is someone wonderful out there for you. Do not listen to the voices of others who say otherwise. All the good ones are not gone...how could they be? You are still here.
4. Do something sincere for others.
Being kind to others, demonstrating compassion, and showing people that you care about them is as important for you as it is for them. You don't have to be a "pleaser" but make a generous gesture to someone everyday and notice how good you feel. Just a sincere compliment is a gift to people.
5. Do what's right.
In a time when cynicism and depression can creep into our lives, we are tempted to think and say, "What difference does it make?" Well actually, it makes a difference to you if you noticed something is not right and you need to "right it." Do what's right, even when it doesn't matter.
6. Develop your authenticity.
Polish, cherish, and live your authentic life. Be your one-of-a-kind self. No one can be you; no one can replace you. Find your style, mission, purpose, gifts, and values. Therein resides who you are.
7. Don't settle.
This is a big one. Too many people get scared and settle for someone who is less than they want. "...The voice of intelligence is drowned by the roar of fear." Karl Menninger Fear of being alone can drive people to make choices that are unsuitable for them. Dating takes courage. Courage to keep going out there to meet people, and courage to hold out until you meet the one for you.
8. Know your deal breakers.
Everyone has a list of "must-have" requirements...they just usually don't know it. It is their hidden agenda. Bring those qualities into the forefront that you must have in a partner in order for a relationship to work. If you don't know what they are, get a coach or counselor to help you discover them.
9. Do your best to look your best.
Looking good is important, but just as important is looking good and then forgetting about it. Do not obsess about your appearance once you have done everything you can do. It's important that when you go out on a date, you show up...not just a shell wearing some new clothes. That means that you are available to listen, share, and notice the good in someone.
10. Who said it would be easy?
Somewhere, we became enamored with the notion that we didn't have to do anything to meet our true love. Dating is hard work. Once you realize that, you can lighten up a little bit and it can start to become fun. Meeting new people and evaluating whether you want to be with them or not, while they are evaluating you, is stressful.
If you pay attention to the above, you may find several areas you want to focus on or improve in your life. These tips will make you more attractive, happier about your life, and more possible to have the relationship you long for.
Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)
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