Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Love Relationship Advice - 3 Common Traps to Avoid For a Healthy Long Term Relationship


Love relationship advice is for those who found someone to love but find it tough to keep that love alive. Finding someone to love is not always easy, witness the tremendous growth in online dating sites designed to make finding love easier; but to maintain the relationship is where the real work comes in.

Whether you found your love interest at a church social, an online venue, or by cruising the bar scene, that someone special caught your eye and you were intrigued enough to find out more about him or her.

Chances are that the two of you were putting your "best foot forward" as they say in your appearance and behavior while you were getting to know each other. Over time, it is not only difficult to always be looking and acting your best, but the familiarity of the relationship can even breed boredom.

Couples who wish to maintain the relationship need to connect on a more sincere level than just the superficial beginnings of your meet up and dating. This love relationship advice is geared toward transitioning into a long term, happy and rewarding relationship for both of you.

There are many pitfalls you can encounter as your relationship progresses, and this usually happens slowly enough that you do not even realize it is happening. Knowing what to watch out for can help you avoid them.

Here are 3 common traps you want to avoid so you can maintain the spark and attraction between you.

1) Having unrealistic expectations of your mate. When you first meet you really do not know that much about the other person, but if you are attracted to them give them credit for being "perfect" - innocent until proven guilty, you might say.

Over time you learn their foibles and short comings that everyone has and some of these will annoy you. It may even anger you that he or she is not perfect like you hoped.

You need to understand that as they forgive your imperfections, you need to forgive theirs. Work on your own character flaws for both your benefit and theirs, certainly. Do not be more critical of them than you want them to be of you.

2) Not communicating effectively. Everyone is wired differently on this, and certainly men differently than women. There is going to have to be give and take; you both may even need to expand your comfort zone in how you express your feelings.

Do not be afraid to talk about your feelings with your partner, especially if something is bothering you enough that it is interfering with your relationship; even making you consider break up.

Always do so in an non confrontational manner and maintain your cool, even if he or she does not.

3) Mistaking sex for love. Over time you will find the physical side of the relationship at odds with the emotional side. They are not the same. Some make the mistake of thinking a lapse in the bedroom component is a sign that the love is no longer strong.

Women and men do not see the same connection between love and sex. Women see the one as just one way of expressing the other. Men may see sex as an expression of their masculinity and the womans interest as an indication of her love for him.

When this issue gets confused in can lead to hurt, anger and stress on the relationship. That is when the communication needs to kick in and the both of you discuss, calmly, just what is going on in your minds.

A lot of things change as we age, both physically and with the complexity of our lives. These changes affect each partner differently and as tensions increase it takes patience and understanding to work them out.

This is perfectly normal.








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